Day 1: Hope Challenge
WHY DO YOU WANT TO RECOVER? There are so many reasons behind my desire to recover, but I’ll try to sum it up. My eating disorder will never, ever make me happy. It will never give me what I want from life. It has made me feel far worse than I ever imagined I could feel. I want to accomplish more than thinness. I want to feel my emotions rather than numb them. I want to live, not just survive. I want to recover because an eating disorder is hell, and life can be so wonderful. Recovery is hard, much harder than having an eating disorder, but I won’t let that stop me. I want to recover because I believe that I can fully recover, and this life is all I have and I don’t want to waste any of it.
WHAT DOES RECOVERY MEAN TO YOU? Recovery is so hard to define. I think it’s learning how to deal with feelings and situations and thoughts in a productive way. It’s learning to accept yourself and to have insight into who you are. It’s restoring health and eating in a way that’s healthy (I’m refraining from using the term “normal” because disordered eating is somewhat the norm in our society) and not obsessive. It’s enjoying life and being present, learning to communicate openly and honestly, to believe in yourself and your self worth, and to overcome the things that started your eating disorder in the first place. But I think recovery is multi-faceted and can’t be judged on a single criteria, and it’s a different process for everyone, because everyone’s eating disorder is different.
